Updated: Mar 6, 2020
and no this is not just some hype up, quick fix solution. This past year I have grown to truly believe that with HARD work and dedication you can heal IF NOT cure your anxiety. For those of you who suffer from anxiety, imagine all the ways your life would improve by bringing your anxiety into remission.
This is not to say that life will no longer bring triggers from time to time or that your anxiety will never flare up again, but for the most part I do believe anxiety can be lessened and controlled with the power of your mind, body, and spirit. Trigger warning for all my anxiety sufferers out there, I know anxiety can feel WAY beyond your own control, but a huge majority of your anxiety is a choice.... I know, as a native anxiety sufferer I never would of believed this a year ago, but its the truth and the first step to bringing your anxiety into remission is to at least have some belief that YOU have the power to heal your anxiety.
Now let me be clear, this doesn't always apply to someone who is under the age of 18 or living at home still because sometimes family dynamics are the biggest trigger, but for those who are outside of the home and now on their own journey this is absolutely possible. Let me start by giving myself some credibility here, in day to day life many of my coworkers and classmates have seen me as someone who is overly chill and doesn't stress on much... but most of my closest friends or anyone who's ever been in a romantic relationship with me would tell you that when I get stressed or anxious I become a total mess. I become filled with ruminating thoughts, frozen with indecision, shut down and/or radiate high quantities of low vibration energy.
As someone who grew up in a very anxious home, I always believed I was genetically disposed to anxiety. My siblings and parents all suffered from anxiety to some degree in some instances caused by themselves and in other instances from absorbing each others energy. However, after doing A LOT of inner work the past 4 years of my life, more specifically and rigorously this past year, i've been able to view my life from an outside perspective and I see now how much of my anxiety was conditioned.
I invite you to deeply accept this belief into your heart: ANXIETY IS TRIGGERED BY THE PRE- EXISTING BELIEFS YOU HOLD ABOUT LIFE. Usually in instances you are not choosing to live in the present or you are choosing to victimize yourself or acting from a place of disempowerment. I am not saying this journey is short, it could take someone several years or it could be lifelong but day-by-day you can continue to heal.
Many factors in my childhood contributed to my beliefs and conditioning but the primary ones involved:
°Consistently feeling financially insecure and beliefs of fear and lack surrounding money.
°Surplus of alone time and lack of connection (which like many children conditioned me to feel unloveable and create difficulty trusting others intentions in my life).
°Drug abuse from both family and relationships that showed me codependency and enabling (both of which allowed me to over identify with other peoples emotions and problems and feel like I was sinking with their ship. I also entered emotionally abusive and controlling relationships that further spiraled my fear of lacking control).
°Bullying in high school, (which led me to develop severe anxiety surrounding simple conversations, or anyone knowing the real me). It made work a nightmare and forming friendships was really difficult for me.
°No bedtime and no time to rise (my life lacked structure and therefore, I lacked a feeling of control or empowerment).
°Chronic lateness, we were never on time as a family (over the years I caused myself a lot of anxiety this way because I thrived off the rush of chemicals that bring focus when late).
Don't get me wrong, even though I was raised with a lot of chaos, there are several beautiful things about my childhood that allowed me to have a deep level of empathy and understanding for others. I give great advice, I see the potential in everyone and I thrive off self improvement and growth. This is in no way a story of victimization but one of empowerment.
All of the obstacles you will face on your path to tackling anxiety will be hard and potentially monumental in themselves. When I stopped living from a place of lack and financial fear and when I started giving from a place of abundance my life was filled with a little more light and a LOT more wealth, and just like that my anxiety lessened some.
When I learned to love myself, my anxiety lessened a little more. Can you imagine how many self limiting beliefs i had to tackle just to achieve this in itself? My life is filled with so much more grace now that I can wake up every day and love myself as much as I've ever loved another.
When I stopped associating with people who brought my life down or thrived off codependency I became a little more empowered and a LOT less anxious. This came with pains too as I had to force myself to associate with HIGHLY independent people to show me the difference and model the way. Sometimes I felt lonely- (there is not just one way to healing), but this loneliness forced me to get to know myself. When I stopped fearing connection with others (this only came after learning to love myself) my anxiety lessened.
When I learned to have structure, my life became so much less messy and with that came freedoms. I still really struggle with being on time, but I can feel my beliefs slowly shifting. When I am early, I feel like I am operating from a place of integrity and I like that.
Overcoming social anxiety was one of the hardest things to tackle on my own and because of that i turned to hypnotherapy. Hypno was one of the easiest thing to do and REALLY helped me dissolve my previous beliefs and stop fearing people.
I am still hard on myself, i'm still a perfectionist, i'm still impatient and for those beliefs I still have days where anxiety persists, but i know once i learn to tackle those beliefs my life will just be THAT much better, simpler and more peaceful.
Although much of anxiety is triggered by beliefs and conditioning, prolonged exposure to anxiety can create changes in your neural pathways and in some senses can be chemically beyond your control, in these instances things like yoga, breathing exercises or CBD may be an aid in your healing. AND YES after prolonged yoga and other therapeutical modalities too you can change these neural pathways and the way they regulate. No one said it was easy, or fool proof but with the desire and continued effort it is completely doable.
Do you get stressed about deadlines? Relationships? the future? Whatever it is I invite you to write down what your beliefs are about those things. Make a conscious choice to accept you no longer want to feel that way and make it your goal. Just by acknowledging you want to change them, they will subtly start to shift. Anxiety is not a joke, it can lead to depression, cause severe isolation and difficulties in friendships and relationships both in your personal and professional life. If you suffer from anxiety I invite you to ask me any questions you may have, know I am here for you, and know that you can heal. There is a you that exists in this world that doesn't suffer anxiety, that can enjoy the peace of life and I want you to have the opportunity to meet them.
SO MUCH LOVE,